It’s November and I don’t usually get angry in November. November is a nice month. Never done me wrong. Who has done me wrong? The United Dumbasses of America*. Together we’ve got two stories come in over the past few weeks involving dumb idiots and gun laws. The first comes from Washington D.C. The second I’ll talk about later. Way later.
The ultimate United Dumbasses (my bad, the Supreme Court) have got themselves a case to shred the Constitution with. They are going to decide on a suit against Washington D.C., in which the city has a law preventing it’s citizens from having guns.
Maybe the law is there because the government is afraid of the non-voting citizens of D.C. revolting. Wait, this is America, so they never will. But, that law should be unconstitutional. Of course, so should the citizens not voting.
Either way, the arguments are that “the Supreme Court will confront whether the Second Amendment protects an individual’s right of gun ownership or merely a collective right to keep and bear arms while serving in a state militia.”
Well, let’s play Supreme Court Justice: What does the Constitution of the United States of America say?
A well-regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
Now, let’s play. “the right of the people” Notice something really cool: it doesn’t specify ‘those in the Armed Forces’, ‘the Soldiers of the United States’, or ‘Soulja Boy”. It says “people”. Got it? OK, so we can move on. Good.
“keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Let’s go over that for a minute. “Keep and bear arms” means “Owning and carring guns”.
OK, “shall not be infringed.”, meaning “don’t take away.” Clear? Sure? Really? Fine.
Boy, wasn’t that fun? If you understand what I just said, then why don’t you go and sneak a robe on, run into the Supreme Court building, and look all dignified. Run.
